Where Am I Going?

After much consideration, I have once again decided not to pursue the pastoral office.  In short, my passions simply lie elsewhere.  My faith in God remains unblemished; my faith, however, in being called to the pastoral office has finally run dry.  I do, however, feel called to the ministry in general, just not the pastoral office.  Of all things, I find my passion lying in Marketing and Human Resource Management, perhaps because they both have psychological practises inherent in them, and I've always been heavily intrigued in psychology.  With my call to ministry, I plan on using my marketing skills and knowledge in outreach ministry.

I had a spurt of genius several weeks ago, if I have any authority to call it genius, in combining the two fields into what I call Human Resource Marketing.  The details and research are all recored on a Word document.  I don't plan on sharing my research and ideas publicly lest somebody steal them.  This is how I will make a positive impact, not my spiritual whims as a prospective pastor since no one listens to me on such matters.

I'm not the biggest fan of memes, but I saw this rather humourous meme that said, "Being 18-25 is like a video game where you skip the tutorial and you're in the middle of the game with no idea what you're doing."  Being 25, I found it funny, and it has some truth to it.  All I know is where I want to go and what I need to do to get there, but I still don't know where I'm going.

I don't normally entertain such puerile beliefs in fate or luck, or anything from among the host of superstitions that many cling to, but I am incredibly "lucky," or fortunate, to be where I am today.  No, not fortunate — blessed.  Luck is the most quintessential human delusion.  It is a term that people created to justify good and bad things happening to them without just cause — things they fail to fathom.  God seeks to bless me even though I sin continuously, and it just adds to my guilt.  Here I am, a miserable sinner, undeserving of any prosperity, and yet He continues to bless me in spite of my disobedience.  Perhaps it's because I repent constantly.  Though I am contrite in my sins, and yet continue to sin anyway, He still sees it fit to bless me and protect me.  I am unworthy of such blessings and protection.  The mercy of God is unfathomable, thus He is the greatest Enigma.