Why I'm A Knight In Shining Armour, But Not Exactly Prince Charming

The problem with my age group is that most women my age are looking for their "knight in shining armour" or "Prince Charming" rather than loving a man for whom he is.  By searching for this mythical knight in shining armour, they place unrealistic expectations upon all men they come across when they have a romantic interest.  Being Christian, the large majority of women are strangely obsessed with Disney movies, heavily influenced by the Prince Charming character.  Not just the character himself in Sleeping Beauty, but the traits and ideals that other "dreamy" (and cartoon, ergo fictional) men possess along with Prince Charming.  They become obsessed with these fictional characteristics of a cartoon, flawless male.  It's highly unrealistic.  No man is flawless, and no man is Prince Charming.  All men share some traits of Prince Charming, but not every single trait that makes Prince Charming who he is.  I am not the knight in shining armour that every woman thinks of, and I am no Prince Charming, therefore any woman who expects me to be a knight in shining armour will inevitably be disappointed by my shortfalls.  However, I am a completely different breed of knight — the armour I wear shines for God.

There are 8 traits that Prince Charming possesses that women my age find irresistible, all of which I possess, but not nearly to the extent of being the perfect Prince Charming that women search for.  I possess all of these characteristics, but being a sinful human being, these characteristics are also character flaws.

1.  Being the Saviour (or as I like to call, the Messiah complex).
Prince Charming always happens to come to the rescue when the damsel is in distress.  He's the handsomest in all the land, and the damsel immediately falls in love with him upon her rescue and his dazzling handsomeness.  (Really?  Does that ever actually happen?)  That is not me.  I'll always lend a helping hand when a woman is in need and help in any way I can, but I'm not her saviour and I never will be.  Neither does it mean that my help is the ultimate or best solution.  We already have a saviour; His name is Jesus Christ.  Jesus is your Saviour and you need to trust and rely on Him to save you, not some unbelievably handsome man to suddenly come along.  With Jesus at the centre of our relationship, we can do anything.  No man can make a girl's problems go away.  Only Jesus can do that.  Any man who thinks he has all the answers clearly doesn't know God.

2.  Chivalry
Chivalry is not dead, but it's certainly endangered.  Unfortunately, we live in an age where chivalry is no longer expected from all men.  It may be desired, but it's not expected, which is sad.  Gentlemen are an endangered kind, that's for sure.  Chivalry is something I believe all men should possess, but I recognise that it'll never happen, so neither should women expect all men to be chivalrous.  I like to think that I'm chivalrous, for my parents raised me to be a gentleman; but being a flawed, sinful human being, I mess up every now and then.  If you expect perfection from me, I will only disappoint you.  But I will always do my best to treat you with respect and meekness.

3.  A Fighter
Believe it or not, not all women find a man being protective as attractive.  When I really care for someone, especially a woman, I'm protective of her, but never to an overbearing extent.  Not too long ago, I was pursuing a relationship with someone I used to be friends with (and yes, she wanted the same).  However, because of her superiority complex, she scoffs at the idea of anyone being protective of her.  So, needless to say, nothing became of us.  The funny thing is, she's one of the Christian women who's obsessed with Prince Charming characters, yet loathes protective men, which, in a way, is hypocrisy.  All men are protective to different extents.  Some are reasonable; others are overbearing.  Every woman should expect her man to fight for her; she shouldn't be disgusted at his protectiveness because being protective is in his nature.  If you don't expect or want your man to protect you, you probably have very lowly thoughts of him.  There's nothing wrong with being a strong, independent women, and those women are out there.  But don't put a man down when he feels the need to protect you, because it's in his nature and the desire is purely out of his love for you.  You may be strong and independent, but you can't do everything by yourself.  Men are built to protect the people we love.

4.  Pursuit
All women desire a guy to pursue her, but I believe it's partly due to indolence.  Pursuit goes both ways.  I will pursue a woman, but I'll stop the pursuit if she doesn't pursue me in return.  If I feel that you're not interested, even if you might be, then I'll stop.  Love is not a game, yet some women treat it as if it is.  If you want to find a man who'll love you whom you'll love back, pursue him as he pursues you too.  Otherwise, if you don't, you'll just end up losing him to someone else who will pursue him.  Love isn't a magic wand in which somebody waves it when an attractive guy talks to you and you magically fall in love.  It doesn't happen like that.  Besides, the most attractive guy may not always be the best guy in the world for you.

5.  A Man of Principles
Prince Charming keeps his word and never betrays his promises.  There's a line from the video game, Halo 2, that I really like:  "Never make a girl a promise if you know you can't keep it."  Some promises are easy to make; others are not.  Men should think before they make a promise.  Likewise, women shouldn't ask men to make a promise that's unrealistic or a promise that has no certainties.  Every man has principles he follows, and the foundation of those principles vary from man to man.  The foundation of my principles come from God, so you can always expect my beliefs and morals to be fortified in God.

6.  Leadership
Not every man has the qualities of being a good leader, but every man should be the leader in a relationship.  In the Holy Spirit, Paul makes it clear that the husband is the head of the wife:  "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Saviour.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands" (Ephesians 5:22-24).  The misguided individual will make the claim that this is in support of male dominance in a relationship.  That is not what it's saying at all.  Paul continues in verse 25, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her...  In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body" (vv. 25, 28-30).  The man may be the leader of the relationship, but the man must love his wife just as Christ loves us.  If the extent of dying for us doesn't give you the perfect image, refer to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which lists God's love for us.  A man should treat his wife as he would treat himself.  If he treats himself poorly (don't think just physically, think emotionally and spiritually as well), he'll probably treat her poorly as well.  As a man nourishes and cherishes his own body, so he should nourish his wife spiritually and cherish her.  This is a long way of saying that a man should be the spiritual leader in the relationship, and a leader in all other regards with Christ at the centre of the leadership.

7.  Bravery
Obviously, Prince Charming is very brave, for he sacrifices everything for the woman he loves.  Women love this trait.  Nobody likes a coward.  Men should be willing to sacrifice some things for the women he loves.  Of course, that depends.  I would never sacrifice my faith in God for a woman, for example, nor specific doctrines.  There was a specific case when I had a chance to be with a woman who supports gay marriage.  Being a devout Christian, I believe that homosexuality is a sin and realise that gay marriage is choosing to continue in that sin.  She refused to accept this truth revealed in Scripture, and gave me an ultimatum that I either support gay marriage and be with her or continue believing this doctrine and not be with her.  I chose the latter.  In this case, this isn't the bravery that she was specifically attracted to (standing up for God and His Word), but that just means she wasn't the right one.

Someone once told me that I'm the bravest person they've ever met because I strive after and achieve every goal I set, I'm not afraid to stand up for God (in fact, I would die for my faith), and I served in the Army for 3 years.  Unfortunately, I haven't met any women who see those things about me as bravery.  But the right one will (hopefully).

8.  Dashing Good Looks
This should be number 1 because that's the first noticeable thing about the Prince Charming character, or at least the one that every woman fantasises about.  Prince Charming has flowing, manly hair with manly muscles and a manly height.  This is where I'm at a disadvantage.  I'm Puerto Rican, so I don't have flowing, manly hair.  I'm not a muscle builder (in fact, I have a little belly) and my height is average.  By these standards, I certainly do not have dashing good looks.  I consider myself average, but most of the time below average.  I would like to think that my personality would make up for my lack of handsome qualities, but seeing how I get rejected all the time, maybe I'm horribly ugly, or maybe my personality sucks.  Heck, I don't know.  Either way, I think it's pretty clear that I'm not exactly the best looking guy out there.

I may or may not be Prince Charming to you, but this is all just Food for Thought.

Why Do People Love Majora's Mask?

I want some legitimate answers. I've never been fond of Majora's Mask myself; I've always found it disappointing. Particularly because I hate being timed in video games, and you're timed during the entire bloody game before that creepy-ass moon crashes into the planet. It's a persistent pain in the ass that you have to constantly worry/stress about, and I don't play video games to add more stress and frustration to my life but rather, to do just the opposite — to lessen stress.

So, if you're one of the many who has a strange obsession with Majora's Mask, why do you love it so much? Nobody has provided a legitimate answer. Every time I've asked someone, it's always been along the lines of, "Because it's amazing," or "Because it's life changing," etcetera. I get that those are your feelings about it, but those aren't explanations. Why is it amazing? Why is it life changing? Those answers and others similar to them are just elongations to your love for it. "I love it because it's amazing." "I love it because it's life changing." That doesn't explain anything. There are reasons behind why you believe it's amazing or life changing. So, what are they? You can't just attach another adjective to your love for the game without an explanation.

My goal in this blog entry isn't to downplay Majora's Mask or convince anyone who loves the game that it's a piece of crap. I don't like the game and that opinion will probably never change. I would just like to know exactly why so many people love it, because I don't understand why. So, feel free to give your explanations in a comment below.

You might love Majora's Mask, but this is all just Food for Thought.

A Love Unfulfilled

I sat in this quaint coffee shoppe last Sunday morning, ruminating upon my faint existence.  I feel like a small speck in the eye of every person in my life — those important to me, whom I love, and those I acquaint with.  On the day of my 25th year of existence, I was shocked to find two friends who wished to celebrate the day with me without my asking.  Because, you see, that day doesn't mean much to me.  When the spotlight shines on me, I'm the type who jumps out of it.  The shock of my friends' genuine care brought a soothing satisfaction, however a little sadness as well.  One of them, let's just call her S., is a beautiful blonde whom I have a lot in common with.  Ninety-nine percent of our likes and dislikes are the same.  The only problem is that she's been in a relationship for several years, perfectly happy, although the loser doesn't deserve her; and I'm not the only one who sees that.  The other friend, let's call her H., is a beautiful brunette, single since the summer of last year (it's late winter now), but like most Christian women, she is afraid of relationships — of commitment.  H. and I connected in every single way, but she makes up excuses why we can't be together.  What makes it worse is the game she played — she made it obvious she's attracted to me, admitted it, and then went on to say she doesn't want a relationship with me.  That is called what I have dubbed as "bitchery."

The irrational fears Christian women have of commitment confounds me.  They are committed to our invisible God, yet fear commitment with a tangible Christian man.  Yet I am surrounded by happy Christian couples who are engaged, newly married with a baby on the way, and recently in relationships.  It's an unfathomable, vexing paradox.  I have witnessed numerous newly wed Christian couples who dated for 3 weeks to a month or so, got married, and then pregnant within a couple weeks.  It's obvious they only got married because they were horny.  I am cursed with not only perpetual loneliness, but also having to watch happy couples in my perpetual loneliness, no chance of a woman having the audacity to give me a chance.

A couple walks into the coffee shoppe, and their adoration for each other is palpable, envy a rising tide within my heart.  I would be judged for my envy.  But what single person who desires to be loved by someone else wouldn't envy a happy couple?  It would be inhuman not to have that envy in such a predicament.  I don't ask for envy to rise up and drown me in its misery; it just rises withal.  One never drowns because he wishes to.  However, don't let there be misunderstanding.  In spite of not having this desire, I am happy.  My sorrow is simply that I don't have someone to share it with.  No one to offer all the love that I have in my heart — a love unfulfilled.

No one wants it either.  They say, "She'll come along.  Just be patient."  But they're all idiots.  They can only say that because they already have someone, so they're incapable of understanding.  Or they're someone who's single who couldn't give two shits about being with someone or not, so they're even more incapable of understanding.  I was engaged twice, once betrayed and once left behind.  I've had it twice, and they both escaped my embrace.  That was 4 years ago, so I have been patient.  So pardon me for having a momentary lapse of reason — for being human.

Perhaps years from now I'll be married and will laugh at all this.  But that's the future; this is the present.  I can't know the future, and neither can you, so you can't tell me without a shadow of a doubt that someone will come along.  All I know is what I'm feeling now, and right now all I feel is sorrow and I have no one who can give me comfort.  It is the tide of this sorrow that rises up and subdues me until the day she finds me, grabs my hand, and pulls me from the waters to breathe love into my lungs.

You might have other thoughts, but this is just Food for Thought.

No Such Thing As "Big Words"

In one of my classes last week, I used a rather simple word to understand during a discussion:  essentially.  Someone's response was, "Don't use such big words."  Seriously?  If you're in college and you don't even know what the word "essentially" means by now, why are you in college?  There is no such thing as "big words."  Besides, college is the place to use big words!  They're not "big words"; they are educated words.  There are common words, then there are educated words.  For example, a common word is obvious.  An educated synonym of the word would be palpable, but someone ignorant would say, "That's a big word; don't use it."  A big word would be something like:  supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  That's a big word.  And believe me, I know much more "bigger" words than essentially.  Sure, my vocabulary is more extensive than most people my age (I'm 25), but I don't think that makes me better than everyone else, and neither do I expect everyone to understand every "big word" I use.  The only reason why I know these words is because I read a lot.  In other words, I educate myself.  And there are plenty of words that I don't know what they mean.  The solution to that problem is to look it up in the dictionary.  There were a copious amount of words I didn't know when I read a lot of C.S. Lewis's books, but I looked them up in order to understand what he was talking about.  Uh oh, I used another big word:  copious.  Try not to die.

I just find it annoying when people tell me not to use "big words," and I'll tell you exactly why.  Growing up, I was looked down upon a lot because I'm biracial.  Back in those days, you got a lot more crap for being biracial than those who were just black.  So growing up, a lot of people expected me to be this uneducated, unintelligent nigger or wetback (even though I'm half Puerto Rican, not Mexican).  Growing up, I was called nigger, worthless, and stupid.  I believed those voices for the longest time.  I believed that I was incapable of being smart and worthy of love.  Whenever I met someone white I couldn't help but think of the colour of my skin as a hindrance to mattering.  It wasn't until much later through the guidance, care, and love of my amazing parents that I first began to believe the opposite.  In spite of their numerous efforts, it took them a long time to help me realise that I'm not a worthless, stupid nigger.  (It's not their fault it took a long time either; they did their best.).  Later on I realised how God sees me in Christ, but my parents' help was the first step.  And now, I never think about the colour of my skin unless someone brings it up, and someone always feels the need to bring it up.  Upon this liberating realisation, my freshman year of high school was the first time I realised that I really am smart.  So I took it upon myself to self-educate — to study, read books, and by golly I will use educated words (or "big words") when they are applicable.  I'm an educated man, so I speak like one.  So I'll be damned if someone tells me to not use "big words."  If you don't understand, get a dictionary.  There's literally an app for that; I use my dictionary on my iPhone all the time.

So by writing this I encourage self-education, and I also exhort you not to tell me to stop using "big words" if you ever hear me use any.

You may disagree with me, but this is all just Food for Thought.