The problem with my age group is that most women my age are looking for their "knight in shining armour" or "Prince Charming" rather than loving a man for whom he is. By searching for this mythical knight in shining armour, they place unrealistic expectations upon all men they come across when they have a romantic interest. Being Christian, the large majority of women are strangely obsessed with Disney movies, heavily influenced by the Prince Charming character. Not just the character himself in Sleeping Beauty, but the traits and ideals that other "dreamy" (and cartoon, ergo fictional) men possess along with Prince Charming. They become obsessed with these fictional characteristics of a cartoon, flawless male. It's highly unrealistic. No man is flawless, and no man is Prince Charming. All men share some traits of Prince Charming, but not every single trait that makes Prince Charming who he is. I am not the knight in shining armour that every woman thinks of, and I am no Prince Charming, therefore any woman who expects me to be a knight in shining armour will inevitably be disappointed by my shortfalls. However, I am a completely different breed of knight — the armour I wear shines for God.
There are 8 traits that Prince Charming possesses that women my age find irresistible, all of which I possess, but not nearly to the extent of being the perfect Prince Charming that women search for. I possess all of these characteristics, but being a sinful human being, these characteristics are also character flaws.
1. Being the Saviour (or as I like to call, the Messiah complex).
Prince Charming always happens to come to the rescue when the damsel is in distress. He's the handsomest in all the land, and the damsel immediately falls in love with him upon her rescue and his dazzling handsomeness. (Really? Does that ever actually happen?) That is not me. I'll always lend a helping hand when a woman is in need and help in any way I can, but I'm not her saviour and I never will be. Neither does it mean that my help is the ultimate or best solution. We already have a saviour; His name is Jesus Christ. Jesus is your Saviour and you need to trust and rely on Him to save you, not some unbelievably handsome man to suddenly come along. With Jesus at the centre of our relationship, we can do anything. No man can make a girl's problems go away. Only Jesus can do that. Any man who thinks he has all the answers clearly doesn't know God.
2. Chivalry
Chivalry is not dead, but it's certainly endangered. Unfortunately, we live in an age where chivalry is no longer expected from all men. It may be desired, but it's not expected, which is sad. Gentlemen are an endangered kind, that's for sure. Chivalry is something I believe all men should possess, but I recognise that it'll never happen, so neither should women expect all men to be chivalrous. I like to think that I'm chivalrous, for my parents raised me to be a gentleman; but being a flawed, sinful human being, I mess up every now and then. If you expect perfection from me, I will only disappoint you. But I will always do my best to treat you with respect and meekness.
3. A Fighter
Believe it or not, not all women find a man being protective as attractive. When I really care for someone, especially a woman, I'm protective of her, but never to an overbearing extent. Not too long ago, I was pursuing a relationship with someone I used to be friends with (and yes, she wanted the same). However, because of her superiority complex, she scoffs at the idea of anyone being protective of her. So, needless to say, nothing became of us. The funny thing is, she's one of the Christian women who's obsessed with Prince Charming characters, yet loathes protective men, which, in a way, is hypocrisy. All men are protective to different extents. Some are reasonable; others are overbearing. Every woman should expect her man to fight for her; she shouldn't be disgusted at his protectiveness because being protective is in his nature. If you don't expect or want your man to protect you, you probably have very lowly thoughts of him. There's nothing wrong with being a strong, independent women, and those women are out there. But don't put a man down when he feels the need to protect you, because it's in his nature and the desire is purely out of his love for you. You may be strong and independent, but you can't do everything by yourself. Men are built to protect the people we love.
4. Pursuit
All women desire a guy to pursue her, but I believe it's partly due to indolence. Pursuit goes both ways. I will pursue a woman, but I'll stop the pursuit if she doesn't pursue me in return. If I feel that you're not interested, even if you might be, then I'll stop. Love is not a game, yet some women treat it as if it is. If you want to find a man who'll love you whom you'll love back, pursue him as he pursues you too. Otherwise, if you don't, you'll just end up losing him to someone else who will pursue him. Love isn't a magic wand in which somebody waves it when an attractive guy talks to you and you magically fall in love. It doesn't happen like that. Besides, the most attractive guy may not always be the best guy in the world for you.
5. A Man of Principles
Prince Charming keeps his word and never betrays his promises. There's a line from the video game, Halo 2, that I really like: "Never make a girl a promise if you know you can't keep it." Some promises are easy to make; others are not. Men should think before they make a promise. Likewise, women shouldn't ask men to make a promise that's unrealistic or a promise that has no certainties. Every man has principles he follows, and the foundation of those principles vary from man to man. The foundation of my principles come from God, so you can always expect my beliefs and morals to be fortified in God.
6. Leadership
Not every man has the qualities of being a good leader, but every man should be the leader in a relationship. In the Holy Spirit, Paul makes it clear that the husband is the head of the wife: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands" (Ephesians 5:22-24). The misguided individual will make the claim that this is in support of male dominance in a relationship. That is not what it's saying at all. Paul continues in verse 25, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her... In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body" (vv. 25, 28-30). The man may be the leader of the relationship, but the man must love his wife just as Christ loves us. If the extent of dying for us doesn't give you the perfect image, refer to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, which lists God's love for us. A man should treat his wife as he would treat himself. If he treats himself poorly (don't think just physically, think emotionally and spiritually as well), he'll probably treat her poorly as well. As a man nourishes and cherishes his own body, so he should nourish his wife spiritually and cherish her. This is a long way of saying that a man should be the spiritual leader in the relationship, and a leader in all other regards with Christ at the centre of the leadership.
7. Bravery
Obviously, Prince Charming is very brave, for he sacrifices everything for the woman he loves. Women love this trait. Nobody likes a coward. Men should be willing to sacrifice some things for the women he loves. Of course, that depends. I would never sacrifice my faith in God for a woman, for example, nor specific doctrines. There was a specific case when I had a chance to be with a woman who supports gay marriage. Being a devout Christian, I believe that homosexuality is a sin and realise that gay marriage is choosing to continue in that sin. She refused to accept this truth revealed in Scripture, and gave me an ultimatum that I either support gay marriage and be with her or continue believing this doctrine and not be with her. I chose the latter. In this case, this isn't the bravery that she was specifically attracted to (standing up for God and His Word), but that just means she wasn't the right one.
Someone once told me that I'm the bravest person they've ever met because I strive after and achieve every goal I set, I'm not afraid to stand up for God (in fact, I would die for my faith), and I served in the Army for 3 years. Unfortunately, I haven't met any women who see those things about me as bravery. But the right one will (hopefully).
8. Dashing Good Looks
This should be number 1 because that's the first noticeable thing about the Prince Charming character, or at least the one that every woman fantasises about. Prince Charming has flowing, manly hair with manly muscles and a manly height. This is where I'm at a disadvantage. I'm Puerto Rican, so I don't have flowing, manly hair. I'm not a muscle builder (in fact, I have a little belly) and my height is average. By these standards, I certainly do not have dashing good looks. I consider myself average, but most of the time below average. I would like to think that my personality would make up for my lack of handsome qualities, but seeing how I get rejected all the time, maybe I'm horribly ugly, or maybe my personality sucks. Heck, I don't know. Either way, I think it's pretty clear that I'm not exactly the best looking guy out there.
I may or may not be Prince Charming to you, but this is all just Food for Thought.
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