What is love, that it runs from me? It eludes me, and I grow frustrated. In my loneliness I am tortured by watching nearly everyone I know enter love relationships, engagements, and marriages. There must be something wrong with me — some affliction that causes me to be unlovable. I wish I knew what it was so I could fix it. I find a chance to finally be loved, but it's always pulled away from me. I feel as if God is laughing at me as He pulls them away, saying, "You can never have such treasure." I know it's sinful of me to think of God in such a way, but nevertheless that's how I feel; which is forgotten, meaningless, unwanted, inadequate, and unlovable. And God's not doing anything about it, despite my years of prayer.
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